I get high on escalators.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
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Elevators lift me up where I belong.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
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If we can't be together, can we at least be complicated?
of 31 votes, 35% like it
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Thriller? I hardly know her!
of 29 votes, 21% like it
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What if I don't want to beat it?
of 25 votes, 32% like it
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I support any cause that supports sandwiches at their meetings.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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Note to self: buy actual notebook.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
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Zombies are just singin' in the BRAAAINNNS.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
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Not all those who wander are lost but I have no idea where I am.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
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drowning my sorrows in chocolate milk.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
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If you keep spinning me right 'round, I'm going to throw up.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
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Stop telling your dog that I'm paranoid!
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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My (geeky) reputation proceeds me.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
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I support any cause that provides sandwiches at their meetings.
of 36 votes, 33% like it
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I've never seen *everybody* kung-fu fighting.
of 42 votes, 26% like it
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Walking on sunshine doesn't feel that good.
of 47 votes, 34% like it
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The road to hell should be paved with tacos.
of 44 votes, 27% like it
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Charles Robert Darwin, get in here and clean up this mess!
of 55 votes, 20% like it
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Co-dependency isn't even a river in Egypt.
of 52 votes, 29% like it
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Where my ninjas at?
of 33 votes, 27% like it
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just dropped in to see what condition the zombies were in
of 37 votes, 24% like it
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This t-shirt makes me feel self-conscious.
of 36 votes, 28% like it
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Your t-shirt offends my t-shirt's sensibilities.
of 44 votes, 18% like it
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My t-shirt challenges your t-shirt to a duel.
of 44 votes, 27% like it
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End lactose intolerance.
of 45 votes, 22% like it
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I'm ready to have an unhealthy crush.
of 51 votes, 22% like it
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Love and elevators lift me up where I belong.
of 55 votes, 22% like it
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The Internet is powered by magic!
of 69 votes, 20% like it
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I do not have any preconceived notions about your milkshake.
of 61 votes, 25% like it
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Humpty Dumpty was assassinated by covert CIA horses.
of 62 votes, 26% like it
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My sonnets bring all the boys to the Bard (of Avon).
of 62 votes, 24% like it
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No, sorry, this is 867-5308.
of 61 votes, 20% like it
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According to Darwinism, Kansas doesn't exist.
of 56 votes, 23% like it
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Thank you, but sorry, your soulmate is in another castle.
of 56 votes, 21% like it
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I'm satisfied with the amount of cowbell in this song.
of 56 votes, 34% like it
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With great power comes great responsibility and colorful tights.
of 53 votes, 32% like it
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I used to smell like teen spirit. Now I smell like an office.
of 61 votes, 41% like it
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Cheese never criticizes or complains. It just wants to be loved.
of 65 votes, 25% like it
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May contain sexual content. Discretion is advised.
of 64 votes, 20% like it
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Creationists never evolved.
of 56 votes, 29% like it
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Darwin does not accept the theory of Kansas.
of 53 votes, 23% like it
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Don't read this and don't think about an elephant.
of 73 votes, 32% like it
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Note to self: buy notebook.
of 69 votes, 28% like it
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Let's start again. Everyone, back into the ocean!
of 71 votes, 35% like it
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London's calling. They sound upset.
of 74 votes, 26% like it
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Hey, wait a minute... I think this song is about having sex.
of 72 votes, 31% like it
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My heart is a series of tubes.
of 81 votes, 22% like it
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In an alternate timeline, we fell in love.
of 66 votes, 23% like it
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In my dreams, I can't fly but I'm taller.
of 65 votes, 25% like it
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You would confuse Darwin.
of 70 votes, 27% like it
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Life imitates art. Life is often offensive.
of 74 votes, 32% like it
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If you don't take directions well, clap your hands.
of 36 votes, 8% like it
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Humans are animals with fire.
of 79 votes, 22% like it
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You appear to be a suitable mate. Let us engage in intercourse.
of 79 votes, 25% like it
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as honest as the day is long. just not as bright.
of 72 votes, 24% like it
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I strike an imposing figure. Then I run.
of 73 votes, 30% like it
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