Death handed me lemons one time. Man, that was weird.
of 85 votes, 72% like it
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I wear chainmail like it's going out of style.
of 65 votes, 55% like it
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If you thought I was a panda then I bamboozled you (Black&Whi
of 51 votes, 33% like it
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As a kid I crafted all of my best meals with paste.
of 55 votes, 56% like it
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I lost an arm to the Daily Grind.
of 86 votes, 47% like it
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Peanut Butter: it's nature's glue.
of 98 votes, 49% like it
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Sign Language: the only time actions speak louder than words.
of 122 votes, 71% like it
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Chefs are the only ones allowed to mince words.
of 85 votes, 48% like it
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A bird's eye view left me waking up early and hungry for worms.
of 79 votes, 46% like it
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Make like Bigfoot and get all blurry.
of 55 votes, 33% like it
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Beauty is only skin deep, below that is icky gross stuff.
of 119 votes, 76% like it
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All bark and no bite is only true with trees.
of 76 votes, 53% like it
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The whole nine yards doesn't get you anything in football.
of 76 votes, 55% like it
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For every minute you are mad, you lose sixty seconds of happiness
of 88 votes, 60% like it
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Grabbing a bull by its horns is a good way to be stomped to death
of 103 votes, 74% like it
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Well, on the other hand are my other fingers.
of 104 votes, 79% like it
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Spare change wont change your tire but it can get you a candy bar
of 70 votes, 43% like it
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Nerves of steel make it hard to get a CAT scan.
of 77 votes, 57% like it
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A blessing in disguise shouldn't wear those goofy groucho glasses
of 72 votes, 42% like it
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It's only a small world when you're claustrophobic.
of 89 votes, 71% like it
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Variety is the spice of life, but I'm more of a salt person.
of 72 votes, 53% like it
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The rule of thumb is opposable.
of 86 votes, 69% like it
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Biting off more than you can chew is a good way to choke.
of 83 votes, 63% like it
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Save the Polar Bears, send them water wings.
of 78 votes, 46% like it
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The Pink Market is totally the new Black Market.
of 71 votes, 54% like it
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My gut reaction is digestion.
of 91 votes, 66% like it
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Never argue with a boomerang, they are full of comebacks.
of 87 votes, 57% like it
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Sir Isaac Newton: stating the obvious circa 1726
of 81 votes, 54% like it
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Nostradamus: vaguely predicting similar events since 1550.
of 105 votes, 71% like it
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I always second guess myself, well I wouldn't say always.
of 112 votes, 75% like it
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Hamsters: the unexplored answer to our energy crisis.
of 119 votes, 68% like it
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In an effort to become more green, I've decided to envy you.
of 111 votes, 61% like it
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Christopher Columbus: Great Explorer, Terrible Map Maker.
of 90 votes, 56% like it
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This shirt is scaled to actual size.
of 85 votes, 49% like it
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How to do a Jumping Jack:
1. Jump
2. Jack
of 106 votes, 52% like it
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Sci-Fi Movies: Misrepresenting the future since 1927.
of 128 votes, 74% like it
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