Look into my eyes, what do you see?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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a hangover can help you focus
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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luck is nothing more than a dream come true
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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start a business with $10
of 19 votes, 0% like it
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2 + 2 = 4 | 1+1+1+=4 | 6-2=4 | etc.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
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Biz school teaches you to start a business by going into debt.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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my retirement plan is...
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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indentured servitude for minimum wage
of 20 votes, 5% like it
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never fart in an elevator...pleaaase
of 20 votes, 5% like it
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is it lunch time?
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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I met my wife at her ex-husbands wedding.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
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flip flops at a corporate pow wow
of 20 votes, 0% like it
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hemp it up
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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There’s an opportunity for every breath.
of 19 votes, 0% like it
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My dog tells on my cat.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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Don't kill my buzz.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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money up front
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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Is it weird to have recurring dreams of your dog's biscuit?
of 14 votes, 21% like it
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My Choice
of 14 votes, 7% like it
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Waking up is an opportunity!
of 10 votes, 10% like it
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Sign here _________. Now you're a masterpiece!
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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I'm sterile.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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So I brought a six pack to AA. What's the problem?
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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My name is ______.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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How do I get paid for sleeping?
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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students do it better
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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I chase my dogs tail.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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Therapy is a black and tan.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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I need therapy.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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I'm sorry, what's your name?
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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No really, I'm listening.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
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Love hurts in a good way.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
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Squeeze my Charmin!
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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zombies make terrible steaks
of 25 votes, 4% like it
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I once did it or did I do it once?
of 24 votes, 4% like it
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Sit, stay, come...oh heck—marriage sucks.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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It goes to 11.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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vampires love match.com
of 25 votes, 8% like it
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...did i say that out loud?
of 23 votes, 22% like it
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my dog frenches better than my girlfriend
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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try, try, try, try, try, try...don't you get it? give up already!
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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i haven't bathed...ever, but i do use wipes
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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my dog ate my pants
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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barbie divorced ken, he's crushed
of 23 votes, 4% like it
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automobile—big lake
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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this shirt matches everything
of 23 votes, 22% like it
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GED alumni
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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© ™ ®
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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facebook anonymous
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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omg! lol!
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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texting to live
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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there here, oh wait, they're the go...
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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You never know unless you ask.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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