(in uv ink) Play Time! (in glow ink) Nap Time!
of 28 votes, 57% like it
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Global warming is just the sun giving us a hug
of 47 votes, 53% like it
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My fishing skills are off the hook
of 42 votes, 74% like it
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Optimists say that it's partly sunny
of 43 votes, 60% like it
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Partly cloudy is the pessimistic way to say partly sunny
of 44 votes, 61% like it
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I don't lack creativity, just the artistic means to express it
of 59 votes, 63% like it
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Hopscotch is harder when actual scotch is involved
of 78 votes, 68% like it
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Unlike your credit card, I have zero interest
of 67 votes, 52% like it
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School Buses make school suck before you even get there
of 57 votes, 65% like it
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Geometry is for nerds and squares
of 60 votes, 68% like it
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I've done terrible things for a Klondike bar
of 65 votes, 65% like it
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You must have good aim if you can hit two birds with one stone
of 59 votes, 47% like it
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Comic book thought bubbles would help a lot in real life
of 59 votes, 59% like it
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If I keep calling you dude it's because I forgot your name
of 63 votes, 54% like it
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A fork in the road could really damage your tires
of 57 votes, 53% like it
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Never talk to strangers, unless they have candy
of 56 votes, 66% like it
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The fairy godfathers want some appreciation
of 52 votes, 65% like it
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And he huffed and he puffed and he had an asthma attack
of 61 votes, 57% like it
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Doing it on a hill is so Jack and Jill
of 54 votes, 59% like it
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If life was a game, I'd play on expert
of 55 votes, 65% like it
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Danger seems to be a pretty common middle name
of 65 votes, 68% like it
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If you can't be nice, just try to be vague
of 67 votes, 67% like it
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If you can't be nice, just try to be vague
of 51 votes, 65% like it
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Me being here foreshadows something awesome
of 62 votes, 74% like it
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Smoking: the leading cause of statistics
of 52 votes, 63% like it
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Sex: the leading cause of statistics
of 39 votes, 46% like it
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Seriously? If I were lying, wouldn't my pants be on fire?
of 56 votes, 54% like it
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Live every week like it is Shark Week
of 52 votes, 54% like it
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Global Warming murdered Frosty
of 54 votes, 50% like it
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I'm not skipping school, I just got lost
of 53 votes, 57% like it
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Stick to monopoly, because you fail at the game of life
of 50 votes, 54% like it
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Stick to monopoly, because you suck at the game of life
of 54 votes, 50% like it
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Shh... my common sense in tingling
of 52 votes, 52% like it
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I'm not a hobo, but feel free to throw change.
of 46 votes, 57% like it
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Music is like candy, better without the rappers
of 65 votes, 52% like it
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Bonjour, Amigo!
of 45 votes, 49% like it
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If duct tape can't fix it, it's broken.
of 67 votes, 64% like it
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