Due to his frustrations of being considered the rookie, Sparks actually had purchased several bear claws and used them as traps for the Mendoza. As they were running away, they ended up slipping on the mine-field of bear claws and landing right in front of Johnson. Ending with the cuffs placed on Mendoza and Sparks earning the right to drive the vehicle as the new "experienced" officer.

I can only see the first 27 sec and then it hangs : (

Mendoza races around a corner and jumps into his getaway car only to discover that the leather seats are too hot to sit on as a result of being in the sun for hours. He therefore leaps out of the car and into the oncoming traffic. He's hit by a slow moving vehicle and is knocked down unconscious which is where Johnson and Sparks promptly find him.

The villans are seen running by in front of the car with the boxes when one drops and a bunch of bear claws fall out. Mendozza shoots him in the head and yeah thats it

Johnson & Sparks rush out of the car to pursue on foot in a "slow speed" chase. Just when Johnson finally thinks he has Mendoza cornered one of Mendoza's boyz drops a load of T-shirts on him and the rookie Sparks has to come in and save the day by tazering Mendoza who screams DONT TAZE ME BROOOOOOOO

~ Johnson & Sparks decide to chase the culprits [ thus bumbling out the car and spilling their coffee ] /
~ Johnson goes into the warehouse (w/toy gun?) still complaining about his bear-claw & see's Mendoza /
~ Sparks catches up only one fleeing suspect and proceed to slow-mo fight & gets mustache ripped off /
~ Johnson realizes Mendoza is "in" on the operation and you all write them some lines to say /
~ End with everyone eating doughnuts at a coffee all pals

== ok, this time I can't think of anything.. haha... but your intro is hilarious !

Johnson & Sparks pursue Mendoza & his cronies only for Johnson to be completely out of breath after running only a few steps. Sparks stops to check on Johnson who is now bent over at the waist and gasping for air.

"I cannot *gasp*... pursue these thugs *gasp*... without... breakfast! Why were they out of bear claws... WHY?!?!?!?" Johnson screams to the heavens as Mendoza and his thugs escape!

Scene fades...

In his surprise, Johnson accidentally floors the car, speeding away. Mendoza runs right in front of the car and gets hit to the ground. Johnson and Sparks rush out and cuff him.

STAR WIPE TO:

10 minutes later, the chief of police comes by and congratulates Johnson on a job well done. Johnson says he was just doing his job. The chief asks Sparks to go get him a donut.

I must say, Festa's delivery on "We got 'em." actually made me choke.

Festa: Oh, man! Not again!
Nanna: I'll show you what a rookie can do.
He get out of the car, concentrate, and put a lamp ahead of the car. The trunk stops
Bad guy #1 (not the driver): Why are you doing? Why did you stoped the trunk?
Driver (bad guy #2): a lamp came out of nowhere! I'm scared! A lamp!
Bad guys #2 and #3: A lamp!?!?!
They run to the cops and ask them to close them up in jail, but that they have to protect them from the lamp.
Festa asks Nanna alone: How did you do that?
Nanna: That was My superpower: Summon a lamp, once. Now I'm powerless, but helping you don't getting fired worth it.

Haha, that was pretty sweet 'as is', but here's my idea:

Festa chases after Mendoza and co, while Nanna goes to check out the goods. He opens one of the boxes and gasps, saying 'it's a red herring!', before pulling out an actual fish and running off to catch up with Festa and Mendoza.

Cut to Mendoza and his diabolical chums in an alley. Festa has them at a dead end!

Festa: Where are the 'special herbs', Mendoza?

Mendoza, resigned, sighs and hands over a baggie of herbs. Festa smiles - a job well done.

Cut to everyone sitting around a table, as Nanna brings everyone coffee, as they enjoy a nice stuffed herring dish with herbs.

Fin.

27 seconds. can't see more!

Johnson starts to cry because he's afraid that Mendoza will come and hurt him, so Sparks, disgusted at Johnson's behavior, leaves the car and darts toward the house that the Mendoza were unpacking the truck in. As Sparks quickly and slyly makes his way to the corner of the house the Mendoza are piling into the car shouting "Just forget 'em!", "Leave 'em there!". As the Mendoza rev the engine of the truck and start to pull away Sparks realizes the trunk of the truck is still open and a box is about to fall out. Thinking that it's a bomb Sparks jumps towards the falling box yelling "Nooooooo!' As the box falls to the ground it breaks open and several Threadless T-Shirts fell out. Relieved, Sparks shoots the tires out of the moving truck while other cops take the Mendoza away. The last scene has sparks confidently getting in the drivers seat of the car, while Johnson mopes into the passenger seat, for Sparks has won the title of "Veteran".

Mendoza and his crew jump in the truck in an attempt to flee the scene...

Meanwhile, the bear claw delivery van is driving up the street, the driver, unaware of what is going down ahead of him, (and all the while singing ..."all my exes live in texas..." all of a sudden slams on the brakes of the delivery van but its too late, and crashes into Mendoza's truck, foiling Mendoza's get-away attempt.

Bear Claws go flying in the air as a result of the crash, a box of which land squarely in Johnson's lap...Johnson looks at Sparks and says, "you're off the hook...(dramatic pause)...THIS TIME"

Johnson and Sparks start laughing hysterically....Roll Credits.

"Let's get them!" they say simultaneously
then they start to chase them on foot. Johnson is ahead and you can see sparks fall in the background, immediately gets back up they chase the bad guys down a few alleyways and when they get too close they get a few threadless shirts chucked at them they put them on and they end up chasing the bad guys into a random child's b-day party. Johnson, Sparks, and the bad guys all get sucked into the party and all of them immediately forget what they were doing. They all act like chumps laughing and slapping each other on the backs. Then Sparks and Johnson end up playing hit the pinata and while they are doing this the bad guys elude them and leave the party. Johnson whacks the pinata and bearclaws fall out (which makes him giddy as a school girl), sparks then realizes that they lost the bad guys... Fin

The boxes are full of threadless shirts and Johnson and Sparks get to carried away looking at the awesome designs to chase the criminals!

*scene opens on Johnson and Sparks still sitting in car waiting for the car alarm to shut itself up*

Sparks: Wait - what're we doing still sitting here?
Johnson: You're right, Sparks - let's give Mendoza a dose of his own menicine.
Sparks: I think you mean medicine.
Johnson: That's what I said.
Sparks: ...just drive.

*scene changes to Johnson & Sparks driving to chase down Mendoza and his crew who were silly enough to have abandoned the truck in part one - they run off into an alley*

*next scene shows Mendoza and crew hiding behind some boxes, and Johnson's car rolls by, not noticing them*

Mendoza: *phew* That was a close one!
Sparks: Not close enough, by MY count.

*scene shifts to Sparks, who was at the other end of the alley - he got the drop on Mendoza and crew. He has his gun in one hand and his coffee in another*

Sparks: It's over, Mendoza.
Mendoza: Over? There's three of us, and one of you. What do you REALLY think you can do, copper?
Sparks: This.

*Sparks throws his coffee at Mendoza, who screams from the heat, and gets into fisticuffs with the two flunkies*

*scene shifts to Johnson driving around*

Johnson: Where the hell is Sparks? Oh, Johnson, I have a great idea he says. Johnson, don't worry, my plan will save the day, he says. Then he goes running off. A veteran would never leave his partner in the dark like this. Stupid rook...

*Johnson is interrupted by Mendoza being flung into the street before him - he screechingly stops the car*

Johnson: What the--

*Sparks walks out of the alley, dusting himself off*

Sparks: I love it when a plan comes together.

*Sparks smiles - end of episode*

Chiefs calls them in the office for botching the stakeout and puts them on meter maid duty. They bicker about Johnson impending retirement. While on meter maid duty Sparks once again sees suspicious activity upon further investigation he and Johnson see Chief is actually the ringleader. They break up the delivery and look to see whats in the boxes. Its kids shirts. Johnson turns to the camera and hold one up and says "I'm too old for this shirt". Sparks pats him on the back and says "lets get that bearclaw".

Odd, if you have HD off it stops at 27 seconds. I'm going to have to reconvert so it may be down for a few minutes...

mendoza runs by the unmarked car with a box of bear claws, grabs a coffee out of johnson's hand and gets into the getaway car and speeds off

with a couple bear claws flying out the window

"Hey!" Yelps in pain from the coffee dumped on his lap. "What the hell you do that for?" partner says "Shoot man there isn't a cop around wouldn't believe that you jumped from spilled coffee and hit the horn by accident. That's damned hot coffee!" Tell me about, (sob), I need a hospital". "What about the crooks? He looks at him with a crimson red face by this time "Partner do I look like I care?" "Next time could you please make it ice tea?"

Johnson and Sparks start to chase Mendoza and his cronies on foot. Scene goes back to truck with boxes. Some people walk buy and see all the abandoned boxes. They open them up to find stolen threadless shirts. They dont know what they are going to do with all the shirts so the take them down to the homeless shelter and give everyone a new shirt.

Meanwhile Johnson and sparks have lost Mendoza and his cronies and head back to the station. The chief fires both of them for being incompetent and they become homeless. They go down to the shelter and receive a new threadless tee.

The End

Fixed!

Sparks: Quick they're getting away drive after them!!

Johnson: Oh uh right.. I know I sit in the drivers seat but that's just to look good, I don't actually know how to..

Sparks: JUST DRIVE!!

A close up of foot on pedal and the car reversing into a pile of boxes. While the criminals are laughing at the stupid cops one of the cronies turns out to be an undercover guy and puts his hands on their shoulders while the criminals visably gulp.

This is what happens, they all realise they've been SABOTAGED

I Can't Stand It, I Know You Planned It
Ima Set It Straight, This Watergate
I Can't Stand Rockin' When I'm In Here
'Cause Your Crystal Ball Ain't So Crystal Clear
So, While You Sit Back And Wonder Why
I Got This Fucking Thorn In My Side
Oh My God, It's A Mirage
I'm Tellin' Y'all It's Sabotage

So,So,So, So Listen Up 'Cause You Can't Say Nothin'
You Shut Me Down With A Push Of Your Button
But yo, I'm Out And I'm Gone
I'll Tell You Now I Keep It On And On

'Cause What You See You Might Not Get
And We Can Bet, So Don't You Get Souped Yet
Scheming On A Thing That's A Mirage
I'm Tryin' To Tell You Now It's Sabotage

Why; Our Backs Are Now Against The Wall
Listen All Of Y'all This Is Sabotage
Listen All Of Y'all This Is Sabotage
Listen All Of Y'all This Is Sabotage
Listen All of Y'all This Is Sabotage

I Can't Stand It, I Know You Planned It
I'ma Set It Straight This Watergate
I Can't Stand Rockin' When I'm In This Place
Because I Feel Disgrace Because You're All In My Face
But Make No Mistakes And Switch Up My Channel
I'm Buddy Rich When I Fly Off The Handle
What Could It Be, It's A Mirage
You're Scheming On A Thing That's Sabotage

okay here's a shorter ending shorter than my last one (at least it can be made into one, i think):

The alarm shuts off and Johnson screams, "They're making a break for it!"
Sparks then says, "Wait here" then scrambles from the car running in the opposite direction.
At this time Johnson is beside himself and he is still upset with sparks not getting a bear claw so he drives away and sets out to get one.
Cuts back to Mendoza and his gang running haphazardly through alleyways then cuts to sparks running everywhich way, then to Johnson coasting down the street thoroughly enjoying a fresh bear claw.
next it cuts to an alley where you can see the outlines of mendoza and his gang in the background. next (still in the same frame) you see a leg/foot slowly slide out into the alleyway. Mendoza and his gang approach and every single one of them trips over the mysterious leg. When Johnson arrives on the scene all the bad guys are unconscious and tied up, and sparks is there one foot on the heap of bad guys, hands on hips, reveling in his victory. then he says to Johnson... "How's that for a rookie?"
the scene ends w/a swirling newspaper with a headline in regards to the capture and a B&W pic of Sparks standing next to the truck, shaking his clenched fists in the air and Johnson with a perturbed look on his face

[[I have a few ideas for the very end, so stay tuned for the alternate endings!]]
Sparks cries "We can't let them get away! We have to do something!"
He and Johnson tear out of the car, in a slo-mo of them running with coffee cups in hand, music in the manner of "Chariots of Fire" playing. They both take gulps of their coffee like thirsty marathon runners as they persue the bad guys.
[[Ending 1]]
However, the music rips off the record, and they stagger to a halt, breathing heavily. Mendoza and his thugs jeer at them as they drive off. Johnson turns to Sparks and says
"See? *That* is what happens when I don’t get my bear claw!"
[[Ending 2]]
However, the music rips off the record, and they stagger to a halt, breathing heavily. Mendoza and his thugs jeer at them as they drive off, but just then Johnson sees a left behind partially-eaten… BEAR CLAW! He grabs it and takes a bite, then zooms in super-speed to the front of Mendoza's getaway car. There is a huge explosion, and Johnson comes out eating the bear claw. He says:
"And THAT is why I'm the Veteran."
[[Ending 3]]
However, Johnson and Sparks are running out of energy, so Sparks quickly throws his coffee cup at Mendoza, who screams pathetically. Mendoza's thugs come back to help him, and Johnson and Sparks take them all down in a style called "Dogpile." As Mendoza & Co are being carted away, he laughs maniacally and says
"The joke’s on you! Now those Threadless Tees will NEVER be delivered!" The laughter continues as the screen fades to black.
The End!

the cats from outer space land in their space ship - MEOWWWW!!! the cat army jump on mendoza and his cronies and overpower them with their strengths.
They go back with their catch to the surprised johnson and sparks telling "a cat has to do, what a cat has to do!"
johnson and sparks take mendoza and his cronies "thanks pussies!" and put them in the back of their car.
They say goodbye to the cats from outer space and the cats wish them "live long and prosper" - the space ship leaves! END! :)

The villains round the corner and dart down a narrow alley from the bumbling cops.

(Cronie #1) - I think we gave them the slip.

(Mendoza) - I aint goin' back to no cooler. If those flats show their mugs again fill them full of day light!

Suddenly a bear pops out from behind the dumpster. There's a moment of pause, as both the cronies and the bear seem equally surprised to be running into each other.

Johnson and Sparks round the corner to find the bear mauling Mendoza and his cronies.

(Johnson) - I guess we found some bear claws after all.

Johnson and Sparks start laughing out loud.

// cut to credits //

Johnson: Let's get 'em (guns engine, not realizing car is still in neutral/park)

Behind the car a group of robbers are just exiting the donut shop. Alerted by the noise of the revving engine they run off in the other direction colliding face first into Mendoza's gang. Johnson and Parks exit the car and look over the unconscious criminals.

Sparks: Looks like too crimes don't make a right. (laughs knowingly)

Johnson: Go get me a donut! (points to restaurant)

Freeze frame. Roll Credits.

Mendoza takes off through the alleyway as Sparks, the eager-to-please rookie, exits the car and gives chase.

Sparks dodges garbage cans and cardboard boxes that Mendoza throws behind him as they run Point Break-style through the neighborhood -- pausing only briefly when Mendoza reaches into his pocket to toss a Bearclaw back at him.

Cut to Johnson driving around the block, yelling to Sparks on his CB and drinking his coffee before realizing it's too hot.

Cut back to Sparks’ pursuit down the alley.

Mendoza turns a blind corner to see Johnson waiting for him outside the idling squad car. Mendoza pulls a switchblade and Johnson throws his hot coffee in Mendoza's face. (*Cue awesome sizzling sounds*).

Mendoza staggers around screaming. Pushing Johnson to the ground while trying to escape. Sparks appears from around the corner, tears off his mustache and throws it (ninja-star style) at the feet of Mendoza -- tripping him directly into the open back window of the squad car.

Johnson, getting up, dusting himself off, “ ’Told you that thing would come in handy.”

Johnson and Sparks laugh boisterously and the scene freezes at the peak of their awesome high-five. The Heat Wave title zooms out of the apex of their power-five.

Sparks: Dammit Johnson! Who's the rookie now?

Voice over: Disappointed by their loss of Mendoza and completely forgetting about all the valuable merchandise, our two heroes are forced to retreat to another coffee shop with bear claws, to console their loss of Mendoza.

Cut to Mendoza and his gang running around a corner and stopping.

Mendoza (panting): Well boys, I think we escaped. Unfortunately all the merchandise was left behind and I'm sure the pigs are all over it by now. The only thing that would make this day better would be a couple of bear claws.

Enter Mendoza into the coffee shop where Johnson and Sparks are sitting. Johnson and Sparks spring from their seats and arrest the crooks.

Johnson: See Rookie, I told you we needed bear claws.

Sparks: Well that's just great. How could this get any better?

[In the same shot, a female officer in uniform walks up to Sparks' side of the car. She stops near the window and starts writing a ticket]

Johnson: Wh- What are you-?

Female officer: Vehicular hobo ordinance. You're parked too close.

[Cut to hobo sitting on the sidewalk. He sits up, smiles, and waves]
[Johnson and Sparks bother start to banter but are cut off by the officer]

Female officer: [In a dull tone] Gentlemen, I don't make the laws. I just enforce them yada yada have a good day.

Johnson: Oh, forget this! [Johnson put the car into gear and drives off before the officer can put the ticket on the windsheild]

[Enter epic car chase where Johnson runs down all three men with the vechile. The last person to be run down is Mendoza who was carrying the box. Once hit, the box goes flying to scatter about bear claws]

[Cut to Johnson resting against the driver side window with a coffee in one hand and a bear claw in the other]

Johnson: Ah, yes. Justice. That's what's been served here today.

Sparks: [off stage in a panicy, loud tone] I don't think we were suppose to injury them, Johnson!

Johnson: Mmhmm, you can smell it the air

Sparks: I'm pretty sure this guy's dead!

Johnson: Just one man doing his duty towards humanity.

Sparks: Oh my God! This man's liver is coming out his bellybutton! I did not sign up for this!

Johnson: And I even got my bear claw. [He bites down on the bear claw and smiles as he looks off into the distance in a heroic way]

-End scene

Sparks says" Good Job Johnson! Now they're getting away!" Then Johnson says "Not if I can help it... Ive worked too LONG and too HARD to put Mendoza down and now its time to make things happen... "Johnson starts the car, peels out and takes off spilling hot coffee everywhere. They are then chasing the truck that Mendoza was unloading but now the back of it is still open and boxes are flying out at them, One hits the window and bear claws fly everywhere... one of them right into the lap of Johnson. Then the light goes on in his head and he looks to Sparks and says, "I knew it! Mendoza is buying up all the bear claws intown to sell them on the black market to (insert funny country) where tasty bear claws are illegal." Then for no apparent reason Mendoza's truck starts slowing down and sputtering. Turns out he's out of gas... So Sparks jumps out of the car with Johnson right behind him. They jump, scuffle and arrest Mendoza. Then you see Johnson in the background sneakily unloading a box or two into the trunk of his police car...

Sparks says" Good Job Johnson! Now they're getting away!" Then Johnson says "Not if I can help it... Ive worked too LONG and too HARD to put Mendoza down and now its time to make things happen... "Johnson starts the car, peels out and takes off spilling hot coffee everywhere. They are then chasing the truck that Mendoza was unloading but now the back of it is still open and boxes are flying out at them, One hits the window and bear claws fly everywhere... one of them right into the lap of Johnson. Then the light goes on in his head and he looks to Sparks and says, "I knew it! Mendoza is buying up all the bear claws intown to sell them on the black market to (insert funny country) where tasty bear claws are illegal." Then for no apparent reason Mendoza's truck starts slowing down and sputtering. Turns out he's out of gas... So Sparks jumps out of the car with Johnson right behind him. They jump, scuffle and arrest Mendoza. Then you see Johnson in the background sneakily unloading a box or two into the trunk of his police car...

Mendoza and company dash to the getaway car, only to find a troublesome alarm had been set off by Johnson's horn. Mendoza and company frantically pass the electronic car key, everyone failing to turn off the alarm. The noisy endeavor heats up to shouts and wails, until finally everyone gives up and bursts out in tears.

Meanwhile, Johnson and Sparks have a box of tissues out and Sparks grabs for one. They discuss their relationship as tears fall down their faces (car alarms still sounding).
Johnson: (bawling) I.. didn't e-ven want the pastry. I just wanted to know someone loved me.
[Johnson and Sparks' eyes (still crying) meet for an uncomfortable 6 seconds]


Both groups-- in tears-- decide to seek comfort in pastries.
(Sparks: [wipes away his tears] Whadaya say we go find ourselves some bearclaws?)

Both groups sulk to the nearest pastry shop with their heads down in sadness, meeting there at the same time. The cops and criminals put their differences (and their jobs) aside and feed each other doughnuts in slo-mo with victorious music in the background (Johnson still weeping, but now with a smile).

Newscaster: This just in today ladies and gentlemen. At 12:30pm this afternoon, one of the biggest narcotic trades in history was carried off at a local warehouse. The two officers who were suppose to be carrying out warehouse surveillance were actually at the wrong address and witnessed a truck team unloading the newest shipment of t-shirts for a popular t-shirt company. There were no comments by either of the officers.

The van squeals away, dropping boxes everywhere. Sparks reaches over Johnson and forcibly takes the wheel, pushing Johnson's knee down to hit the gas and gets hauling after them!

Johnson gets angry at being co-opted and tries to push him off, starting a girly, hand-slappy catfight between them as they're flying down the highway dodging boxes through pure luck. Without noticing it, they actually overtake Mendoza, who looks on dumbstruck as they come up to pass him!

Right before they get close, however, Johnson stops the slap-fight and calms down, still not noticing that they're neck and neck. He grabs his coffee from the holder, sips it, and then roars that it's WAY TOO HOT! and throws it out the window....right through Mendoza's window and into Mendoza's face! The truck comes to a roaring stop and the boys of the badge are able to get him.

You see? Johnson says, very satisfied with himself. I'm the veteran!

Sparks sits up, pulls gun from his coffee cup. "The rookie, am I?" With the other hand, he tears off his mustache- "Or have I really been MENDOZA all along? Now, get out of this car, or the REAL Sparks gets it!" He gestures toward the real Sparks, handcuffed on the side of the street. Johnson gets out as the accomplices dive in to the backseat, tearing off their mustaches, and calling "Way to go, Mendoza!" As the back doors slam shut and lock, Mendoza slaps his mustache back on, revealing that HE HAS BEEN THE REAL SPARKS ALL ALONG. He leans out the window and calls to his partner, who has the REAL real Mendoza in a headlock, "You're right, Johnson. This plan worked perfectly! Now let's take them in." He drives off.

Mendoza and his cronies come peeling around the corner, attempting to stop what they think is someone stealing a car (they aren't all bad). As they get close to the car, Johnson and Sparks pop up, and Mendoza yells "Its a trap".
As Mendoza and his cronies turn around to run, an unsuspecting cyclist with a box of donuts is riding by and hits Mendoza. Donuts fly everywhere, Johnson catches a flying bear claw, takes a bite, begins to handcuff Mendoza, and turns to Sparks and says "And you best believe I had that planned all along."

did i win yet?

hahaha.

damn ross for wearing such a cool version of tesco's shirt!

Two female officers near the scene arrest Mendoza and his posse for Jay-walking. The posse tries to flee but the officers catch them after a slow motion chase, and put them in the car. While heading downtown they discover they have just caught the illustrious criminals. When they reach downtown they are greeted by Johnson and Sparks with bearclaws and coffee.

cut to stock footage of car driving off cliff.

Johnson starts the car and floors the gas, taking off after the culprits. As he takes a very sharp left turn Sparks coffee flies out of his open window and drenches a karmically deserving Mendoza. Who stops out of concern for his t-shirt, now coffee-stained, and tries to tide-to-go the stains out. He is arrested and while confiscating the stolen shirts Johnson uncovers an untouched bear-claw in the truck.

Sparks: Should we chase them?

Johnson: (sighs) No ... no ... whatever. C'mon. Let's go get that bearclaw.

Montage of Johnson and Sparks going through a doughnut store looking for bearclaws.

what on earth is a bear claw? You people eat bear parts?

Johnson stares angrily at Sparks for about 5 seconds

He then says, angrily, THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU GOT ME MY DAMN (As he says damn, hits horn with fist again) BEAR CLAW

He then yells, GO, GO GET ME MY BEAR CLAW, and makes Sparks get out of the car, again. He then says, to himself, after Sparks is out of camera range,

Ugh, useless rookies. cant do ANYTHING right.

After seeing Mendoza and his cronies leave, Johnson and Sparks head over to the dropped packages. Johnson, taking the intiative opens one of the boxes to find strange coloured smoke billowing out into his face. The event leaves Johnson confused and worried. Sparks looking out for his partner asks if he is alright. As Johnson looks up at Sparks, he finds that Spark's head has turned into that of a bearclaw, with the mustache still intact. As Johnson advances to take a bite of Spark's head, Spark's lets out at the top of his lungs.. "MENDOZAAAAA!" while fending Johnson off.

cut to Mr Freeze, "Ice to see you"

hey, you're onto something.
cut to mushroom cloud explosion, Sledgehammer style

Mendoza and his cronies run out of the warehouse. Johnson and Sparks are in the car. Johnson pulls out his gun.

Johnson: Let's get this M-Fers!

Johnson and Sparks exit the car and being chasing Mendoza and his cronies. Chase scene ensues. Johnson spots someone and aims his gun.

Johnson: FREEZE!

Johnson is aiming at a man - a bystander - who is holding a bear claw, about to take a bite. The bystander is frightened. Johnson moves in.

Johnson: I'll take that.

Johnson takes a bite.

Johnson: Mmmmm! That's good bear claw!

Mendoza and his cronies run until they are out of breath, which is roughly 30 feet away from where they took off. Gasping for air, they turn to see whether they are being pursued. To their surprise, they are not!
"Now's our chance, boys!" yells Mendoza, as they forget they are out of breath and make a b-line for the truck. They peel out, but Sparks and Johnson have no clue, because they are completely involved in trying to shut off the alarm.
Fade out.
Fade back in to Sparks, m0ving much more slowly than before, unenthusiastically shouting incoherent statements, despite the fact that he is alone.
"Where is your dignity, Rookie?" "A veteran like me is the only one fit for a job like this" "I bet they actually gave you a gun, too..."
Finally successful in shutting off the alarm, Sparks suddenly perks up and becomes more enthusiastic.
"Johnson! Johnson!!"
He looks around for Johnson, both frantic and annoyed, only to realize it is dark out, and the endeavor has taken him all day. Just as he succeeds, Johnson runs back with more coffee, complaining, "This is the 26th coffee run today! Why me? WHY ME?!?!" He rips off his mustache in angst. As he does so, the camera zooms out to show the car completely full of coffee cups. The mustache lands in the mass of cups.
"No time to whine now, Rookie! I finally shut this thing up! Let's go!" barks Sparks. They peel out.
Fade to show Sparks and Johnson rolling, slowly again, right past a graffitied wall, which the truck is parked in front of. As it is perfectly camouflaged, the two are completely oblivious.
End with Mendoza belting out an awesome evil laugh, and one of his sidekicks eating a Bear Claw.

Mendoza and his crew run to the getaway car, and Mendoza slides into the driver's seat.

Cronie 1: Hey, why do you always get to drive?
Mendoza: Because i'm the veteran, I get to take the wheel.
Cronie 2: But boss, maybe I want to drive sometimes, ya know?

Cut to Johnson and Sparks who run out of the car and to Mendoza's car, where he and his cronie are bickering. Johnson pulls Mendoza out of the car and cuffs him.

Sparks: Why dont' I ever get to cuff the bad guy?

Mendoza and Johnson at the same time: Because you're just a rookie!

Sparks and Johnson get out of the car to chase Mendoza and his cronies. They split up. (Epic chase scene like in Scooby Doo). Johnson finally corners Mendoza alone. He cracks a movie quote like, "Show me the money." or "Say hello to my little friend!" and then Sparks grabs Johnson in a headlock from behind. Johnson is confused and asks Sparks why. Sparks says, "I'm tired of being the rookie. A rookie wouldn't have accidentally honked the horn now would he? Plus, I can't let you take in my brother."
Johnson is astounded. "Mendoza is your.... BROTHER?" Sparks replies, "It's quite obvious. But you are so dimwitted that you didn't notice our MUSTACHES. We were born with them. They may look fake, but in reality, they're birthmarks." Johnson uses a star wars quote this time and yells out, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sparks snaps Johnson's neck and the screen fades to black and ends. THE END. =D

Sparks and Johnson continue to hide, crouched, where they believe Mendoza and his crew can't see them. While "hiding" they continue to argue about the bear claw and their respective positions on the cop ladder.

Sparks speaks up, telling Johnson that he should forget the pastry and they should go after Mendoza and his crew.

The camera pans back to the truck, and a couple of undercover agents pop out of the boxes. They brush off their pants, put on some sunglasses, and walk to the vehicle that houses Sparks and Johnson.

"IDIOTS" one of the agents says. "We've been in those boxes for two weeks, that was our chance to end the Mendoza syndicate once and for all." The agent then removes his glasses (David Caruso style) and leans up against the window. "Listen," he says, "if I ever see yous cops around Mendoza again, I'll come after you instead." He then grabs Johnson's coffee, removes the lid, spits in it, and walks away.

They begin to chase them. But they run off. Sparks and Johnson inspect the truck that they leave behind for evidence.

(Looking in the cab of the truck, spots a bag)

Johnson: Check the bag, Sparks.
Sparks: Why do I always have to open and check things.
Johnson: It might be a bomb.
Sparks: What you I'm not flammable, just cause I haven't been working as long as I have.
(Sparks, checks the bag)
Johnson: What's in it.
Sparks: Bearclaws..?

(Notice the suspects coming back, jump in the back of the truck.
and when they open the door. Johnson and Sparks hold them up at gun point and arrest them.)

Mendoza: (As he is put in the back of the car, by Sparks) Hey can I have my bear-claws at-least.

Sparks goes to the truck and finds Johnson eating them.

Johnson: What!?

-The End-

Johnson and Sparks scramble out of the car clumsily and take off after Mendoza. They split up. Johnson rounds a corner and sees Mendoza struggling to start a getaway car. Then, he also notices a table outside of a donut shop advertising free samples with only one pastry left, a bear claw. Stricken with horror at this dilemma, he pauses and looks back and forth between the two choices. [Fade Out]

[Fade In] Sparks trots up to Johnson sitting on a bench enjoying his bear claw and complains frustratedly, "You let him get away!"
Johnson smirks and shakes his head. "Rookie", he says to himself loud enough for Sparks to hear.

Fin

ok, in previous post - I meant the chief/captain is "in" on the deal, not Mendoza... typo ~ anyway it was stupid so here goes v.2

~--{[ Alt. ]}--~

» *car alarm stops*

» *Mendoza walks up to the car* and does the typical, "Well, well... what do we have here" shpeel *in slightly askew foreign accent* "looks like Johnson and Sparks having a lil breakfast party..." as *cronies gather around car (by doors so J. & S. can't get out)*

» Johnson and Sparks upset and embarrassed both whine and fidget *Johnson mutters something about a bear-claw, but mostly inaudible*

» *Mendoza gets into back of car* Mendoza: "So... the captain sent you two bumbling idiots to spy on me? Well, tell him he'll get his cut"

» *Johnson and Sparks both turn around in unison - mouths agape - (maybe Sparks is so shocked he rips off his mustache in protest) then they just stare awkwardly at each other, unable to speak*

» *Mendoza, chuckling, starts to get out but stops simultaneously asking Sparks for his (Mendoza's) coffee*

» *Sparks hands Mendoza a cup, then realizes he's the rookie-coffee-chump again and protests,* "Seriously! Not again, damn it..." or something to that effect

» *Mendoza exits the car and casually says,* "See you at home boys" *cronies follow*

» *Johnson and Sparks both wave immaturely and say,* "Bye dad"

~--{[ come on, come on, no whammies... big money ]}--~

Mendoza walks towards them with a big black gun. Mendoza has a really big moustache and a heavy accent.

Mendoza: Didn't think you'd find me here.

Johnson: Well I guess we did, *stepping out of the car with a coffee cup and coffee stains on his groin area*.

*Mendoza does a quick villainous laugh*

Mendoza: (to Johnson) 'Cuff him.

Sparks: What? But I'm supposed to be arresting YOU!

Johnson: Mendoza is actually an undercover cop, and because you somehow knew where the culprit was and told me the second after I told you, I knew you were actually the dealer.

Sparks: But that's insane! Dad, tell him that's insane!!

Johnson: (to Mendoza) What?

Mendoza: Yes, he is my son. And you are insane.

Sparks: We both knew it was you all along, what with the bear claws and all. You were helping your twin sister out of the country, so you ended up selling all these bear claws (that I keep getting you) illegally.

Johnson: Well, I guess it was me! Woops! My mistake. *takes the handcuffs off of Sparks and handcuff's himself*

Mendoza: Take him away boy.

Mendoza goes back to the warehouse and continues to do his dirty work.


(sorry for the lazy as work here :/ )

Johnson clicks on radio. He yells into it.
Johnson: Mendoza is on the run!
Johnson clicks off radio and chugs coffee. He opens the car door.
Sparks: Aren’t you going to wait for back up?
Johnson: Let’s go!
Both run over to the loading dock with guns drawn. Mendoza and his cronies are firing rounds off wildly in their direction. Johnson gets hit and goes down. Shocked, Sparks goes over to his side while bullets whizz over their heads. Johnson is at the point of death but has energy for a few more words.
Johnson: Sparks?
Sparks: Yeah, Bill?
Johnson: Last bit of advice. Always get a partner smarter than yourself.
Johnson smiles and closes eyes.

Sparks: If we want to nab Mendoza, we're going to have to chase him now!
Johnson: Sparks, wait!

Sparks storms towards the trucks. Johnson follows.

Mendoza is trying to get away with one of the boxes, but Sparks gets him before he gets far.

Sparks: Freeze! Let's see what illegal treasures you and your cronies have been shipping all this time.
Johnson: Sparks, I don't know if you want to do that!

Sparks opens the box to find a bear claw, a photo of Sparks and Johnson together with BFF-4-EVER written on it, and a Happy Anniversary Card in it.

Sparks: What's this?

Mendoza: (heavy Cuban accent) We've been in the party business for some time.

Johnson: I hired them to surprise. To celebrate your first year on the job. You're no longer a rookie to me, friend.

Sparks: (in tears) Really?

Johnson: Have a bear claw!

Two of Mendoza's cronies approach. They are holding hands.

Cronie #1: You guys, guess what?
Cronies say in unison: We're gettting married!

Mendoza: Looks like I have another party to plan!

Everyone laughs. Sparks and Johnson jump and high five.

Mendoza runs off and Sparks tries to prove he is more than just a rookie so he chases after Mendoza.

Mendoza realizes someone is chasing him, but trips over himself trying to run off.

Sparks captures Mendoza and Johnson seems impressed promoting him from rookie to Sergent.

They get rogered via walkie talkie and they go on their second mission together.

I would like to see someone drive the forklift out of the warehouse and flip over the car.
Do EET!

Mendoza hears the ALARM and approaches the car.

SPARKS
Here he comes! Here he comes!

JOHNSON
Play it cool, man --

SPARKS
What do we do???

JOHNSON
I said cool!!!

The ALARM still blaring, Mendoza leans in the window.

MENDOZA
Gentleman.

JOHNSON
(playing it cool)
Mendoza.

Mendoza is holding a bear claw. He slowly unwraps it and takes a bite.

Johnson is visibly perturbed by this.

MENDOZA
Mmmm.

He’s enjoying it sooo much.

MENDOZA
This is delicious.

JOHNSON
(having trouble playing it cool now)
Is it?

This is freaking torture for Johnson. He loves bear claws. Loves. Them.

MENDOZA
What do they call this thing? Cat fangs?

Mendoza’s got Johnson right where he wants him.

Johnson is shaking with anger. He’s about to burst.

SPARKS
Bear claw. It’s called a bear claw.

JOHNSON
Damn you, Mendoza! DAMN YOU!!!!!

Johnson FLOORS IT and the car SPEEDS off.

Mendoza takes another bite of his bear claw and smiles.

bad guys run - right into a circle of undercover police. Johnson acts like it was all part of the plan. Mendoza shakes his fist!

Sparks just nods his head and then produces a bear claw from his pocket and takes a bite and says "not half bad...for a Rookie!"

Johnson shoves his coffee at Sparks, and lurches the car into gear, just starting to drive after the fleeing Mendoza (and his cronies), car alarm still going. Sparks spills the coffees and they both dissolve into screams and namecalling. Another (undercover) car pulls them over, because of the alarm, and then comments on the fact that they aren't wearing their seatbelts. Mendoza and cronies walk calmly by, hands in their pockets and whistling while all the cops argue.

Alerted to the presence of Johnson and Sparks by the car alarm and honking, the bad guys rush off in their groovy, graffiti-covered truck. Johnson and Sparks follow--after they get their car to stop sounding off--but professionals as they are, they do so discreetly. Some miles on, not realizing that they're being followed, the drivers of the truck pull into a Dunkin' Donuts drive thru. Johnson and Sparks pull in a few cars behind, make small talk about following the creeps to their hidey-hole, and wait their turn. When Johnson pulls finally up to the window, he asks for a bear claw. "Sorry," the bubbly girl at the window tells him. "I'm afraid the guys in that big truck got the last one!" Johnson, frustrated, hits the steering wheel with his fist, and the honking and alarm go off again. End of scene.

Johnson and Sparks have failed. Mendoza lets loose his doomsday device and rains a great plague of fire on the world.

We all die.

But somewhere, out in the pacific ocean, there is one tiny boy floating on an inflatable raft. It is his job to create the world anew. His name is Simon... And this is his story.

Johnson: We did it Sparks!
Sparks: We did?
Johnson: Well not really hey lets go investigate
(Sparks and Johnson walk over to the boxes, open them up to find bear claws)
Sparks: Sir, I've got your bear claws.
Johnson: I know, I didn't know we were dealing with this high of crime. I thought it something drug related.
(Medoza runs back to make sure his Bear Claws haven't been stolen and Sparks and Johnson arrest him.)

Mendoza and crew hop into the truck they were unloading and start to speed off. The boxes in the back fall out, some of them breaking open to reveal....BEAR CLAWS!!! (The pastry kind)

Johnson speeds in the direction of the truck, only to come to a screeching halt beside the pile of bear claws on the ground. He gets out of the car and starts nomming them. Sparks gets out and tries to drag Johnson back into the car, but Johnson's hand has become an actual bear claw and he claws Sparks to death.

JOHNSON: "NEVER get between a man and his bear claws."

Johnson and Sparks sit quietly in the car, hunched down, their eyes searching the surrounding area, the car alarm blaring on few for about five more seconds. Then, Sparks reaches over and picks up the keys, with the little keychain attachment, and turns off the alarm. All is silent for about three seconds, then:

Johnson: Do you think they saw us?

--awkward pause--

Sparks: (no sarcasm, being genuine) Yeah. Yeah, I think they did.

--awkward pause--

Johnson: Right.

the criminals go to the cab of the truck and grab super soakers. they start running towards the cops and the cops try to get out of the car but can't and are stuck. the super soakers then fire lazers at them and then the cops disappear in a cloud of smoke.

Sparks says "Kiss me quick!" while all the bad guys walk over and say "Awwwwwwwww how sweet" and continue their badguyness -- giving Johnson and Sparks time to throw hot coffee all over them as they are arrested.

The truck escapes, but drives into the police station where they are arrested.

My ending:

They bolt from the car - freeze frame of them running

*cheesy music plays*

They run after the culprits. After some intense gun fire, Johnson and Sparks run to find out what were in the boxes. When they are opened, they discover hundreds of Threadless shirts!

the truck peels out with the back still open (and the passenger side door half open with one guy still struggling to get inside)
the remaining box falls out of the truck, then opens to spill out gobs of bear claws (which were atop several bags filled w a suspicious looking white powder).

JOHNSON fumbles with the keys before turning them in the ignition to shut off the car alarm (alternately, he could press the car alarm button on the fob to shut off the alarm)

JOHNSON on walkie, still huddled down in the car: we need backup, Mendoza is fleeing north on main street!

JOHNSON and SPARKS now peek over the windshield, JOHNSON uses binoculars and we cut to a binocular-shaped-shot of the box/bear claws/white bags on the ground.

they both get out of the car and go over to the boxes. SPARKS nudges one of the white bags with his foot while JOHNSON crouches down to pick up a bear claw.

a police car with sirens on rushes by in the background, going north on main street.

JOHNSON and SPARKS look behind them at the cop car rushing by, then JOHNSON stands up and the two of them jump and high five in midair, with JOHNSON holding his bear claw in his free hand, and SPARKS holding his moustache in his free hand (after ripping it off triumphantly)! we freeze frame on them as they high five, then cut to credits and music.

All the criminals flee from the scene, Johnson and Sparks look back up, the trucks empty.

Sparks: (Sarcastically) I'm the rookie, eh.

Johnson throws his coffee over Sparks. Johnson turns back to the camera, and frowns. The comical "Dud da da, da da dahhhaahh" music plays. :D

Johnson: Dangit, Sparks! Go get me a bear claw, NOW.
Sparks: I don't really think this is the time, sir--
Johnson: (interrupting) DO IT!
Sparks: Alright....
-Sparks runs to a fork in the road. On one side is a bakery, on the other is the thieves-
Sparks: (thinking to himself) Screw the pastries, I have to do what's right!
-Sparks runs to the thieves and tackles them. A moment later, Johnson goes looking for Sparks-
Johnson: (to himself) What's taking that kid so long?
-Johnson comes up to Sparks, who is eating a bear claw by one of the stolen boxes. The box is open and is filled with bear claws. The thieves are in cuffs on the ground.-
Sparks: Who you callin' a rookie?

Sparks: Great move, veteran. No what do we do?
Johnson: Hey, this wouldn't have happened if you had got my bear claw!
Sparks: Shut up!

There is a knocking on Sparks' window. Mendoza is knocking on it with his gun.

Mendoza: Get out the car, now.

Sparks looks to Johnson and speaks quietly.

Sparks: Looks like this rookie is gonna have to go pro.
Mendoza: Get out the car!
Sparks: Just do what he says. I have a plan.

Coffees still in hand, Johnson and Sparks get out of their car, hands raised. Mendoza and his cronies look on.

Mendoza: Well well well. Look who it is, boys. What's a matter, officers? Car trouble?

Mendoza's cronies laugh. Mendoza raises his gun to Sparks.

Mendoza: You got anything to say, pig?

Sparks looks over to Johnson and winks. Johnson realizes Sparks' plan.

Sparks: I do have one question - do you like coffee?

Sparks throws his coffee in Mendoza's face! Mendoza screams in agony and falls to his knees holding his face. Johnson quickly drops his coffee and points it at the cronies.

Johnson: If you run, you're done.

The cronies freeze in terror.

Cut to later: Sparks and Mendoza are leaning against a brick wall as Mendoza and his cronies are walked off by other officers.

Mendoza: I'll get ya, ya filthy cops! I'll get yooooooouuuuuu......

Johnson: Well rook, I gotta say, you did a hell of a job. Mendoza's going away for a long time.
Sparks: All in a day's work, Johnson. Oh, and by the way...

Sparks pulls out a bear claw from behind his back.

Sparks: The shop had one more.

Johnson takes his bear claw. They smile and let out a boisterous laugh.

CUE AWESOME COP MUSIC

Johnson: Ah, we're gonna have to call in back-up

Sparks: Theres no time!

(Sparks rushing in alone, points gun at Mendoza and his cronies)

Sparks: FREEZE!

(standoff between Mendozas cronies and Sparks. Mendoza walks over)

Mendoza: Sparks?

Sparks: You're Mendoza?

(both laughing)

Mendoza: Long time no see buddy, so howz being a cop treating you?

Sparks: Well it pays the bills I suppose, i'm just fed up of not getting the recognition I deserve. How are you doing though? You still with that chick, err, Denise?

Mendoza: (with a tear in his eye) No, she left me (sniff sniff) she went off with some dude who robbed a bank, shes the reason i'm in this whole mess. I thought if I became a wanted criminal she might like me again. But its just not me you know...

Sparks: Ah mannnn, i'm sorry. You're better than this.

Mendoza: Hey, i could help you out, we'll all come out surrendering and maybe you could look good in front of your partner. Come on guys.

(All cronies and Mendoza walk out with hands on heads)

Johnson: Wow sparks thats amazing, howd you do it?

Sparks: All in a days work

Johnson: Hey next time...i'll get the coffee

(putting one of cronies in the back, Sparks gives Mendoza a 'fresh prince of Bel-air' esque handshake

All get in car and rive off to a cool 70's groove...

is this contest over, or what?

yea!? where's the vid craig !?

or what.

i'm so excited to see the ending! damnit!

cut to Ghostbusters theme

did i win yet?

lol... Johhson and Sparks got switched

haha, oh man...that was amazing!

lol!

classic!

I really enjoyed all these Heatwave videos. Way to go everyone involved!

Oh, neat. I had no idea I won.

And you made it every bit as cheesy as I had hoped.

Thanks, Threadless.

congrats!

shimala on Jun 12 '09
lol... Johhson and Sparks got switched

LOLZZZZZ

Also wanted to throw out there that the bear claws were inspired by these bad boys

wow.

hahaha!! hilarious ending!!

also, i want that grey "untitled" shirt Ross is wearing!!!

Love those porn star moustaches....

hey what happened with this? I wanna see some endings!